Castle TV Show - A Breath of Fresh Air!

Castle TV Show - A Breath of Fresh Air!

Tags: Richard Castle Hollywood Movies Television TV Show Series Comedy Crime Drama Thriller Mystery Romance Actor Nathan Fillion Firefly Famous Sci-Fi Fans Actress Audience Stana Katic Detective Kate Beckett New York Police Department NYPD Cast Susan Sullivan Martha Rodgers Jon Huertas Javier Esposito Seamus Dever Kevin Ryan Molly Quinn Alexis Castle Tamala Jones Lanie Parish Penny Johnson Jerald Captain Victoria Gates Ruben Santiago-Hudson Roy Montgomery Jack Coleman Senator William Bracken Andrew Marlowe Ratings Seasons Plot Millionaire Playboy Serial Killer Books Inspiration Chemistry Characters Skills Dialogue Facial Expressions Postures Mannerisms Episode Viewer Charm Wit Successful Writer Cop Gorgeous Beautiful Powerful Backstory Alluring Mysterious Flirtatious

The television series Castle has been one of the most beloved comedy / crime / drama / thriller / mystery  / romance shows on the air. Its lead actor Nathan Fillion of Firefly fame (a cult Sci-Fi TV Show) is a much loved actor and has a huge fan following. Apart from Fillion, another lead actress who has captured the attention of the audience is Stana Katic who has perfectly embodied and brought to life the character of Detective Kate Beckett of New York Police Department (NYPD).

The show is also supported by a strong ensemble cast that includes Susan Sullivan (as Martha Rodgers), Jon Huertas (as Detective Javier Esposito), Seamus Dever (as Detective Kevin Ryan), Molly Quinn (as Alexis Castle), Tamala Jones (as Lanie Parish), Penny Johnson Jerald (as Captain Victoria Gates), Ruben Santiago-Hudson (as Captain Roy Montgomery) and Jack Coleman (as Senator William Bracken). Of course, this is only the main cast and the full cast is far longer! The show was created primarily by Andrew Marlowe and clearly, he did a fantastic job going by the show ratings especially for the first 6 seasons!

The plot of the show is all about Richard "Rick" Castle, a millionaire playboy who recently killed off his main character when a serial killer starts killing people like he does in his books. He teams up with New York police detective Kate Beckett to solve the case. He finds inspiration in Detective Beckett and starts shadowing her for his next book. Interestingly, the show was initially latched on by Fillian's fans but it took a turn when Stana Katic played out the character of Kate Beckett quite so well and brought it to life.

The audience loved the chemistry between the lead characters and that rocketed the show to fame! Further, the story telling was exceptional well into the sixth season. We liked the acting skills of the actors - acting does not always mean dialogue delivery. It includes facial expressions, postures and mannerisms. In this area, the main actors pull it off big, especially Stana Katic. Though it was a long series, it did not feel boring and in fact, it kept the viewer riveted to each episode as it played out.

For the casual viewer, it was wonderful to find a series that was sprinkled with comedy, mystery, drama and thrilling sequences. Importantly, the elements of romance were electric and nicely done! Further, there were quite a few interesting tidbits to add to our overall knowledgebase in various fields.

The show focuses on the charm and wit of Castle complemented by the grit and fortitude of NYPD Detective Kate Beckett. The chemistry between the lead characters is awesome - irresistible force meets immovable object, opposites attract, oil and water and fire and ice. On the comic element, Fillion is a perfect match for anything that the show throws at him and he brings out the best! He plays out the role of a successful writer - in fact, he even has a protective vest printed Writer when he goes out with NYPD detectives! He is obviously charismatic and an egocentric mystery writer!

Not to be outdone, Stana plays out the role of the cop to the dot! She is gorgeous (in real life too) and ever so enticing, egging Castle to match her. One wonders what a beautiful woman is doing in the NYPD - turns out that she has a powerful backstory and that is unravelled in the episodes of the show. She is alluring, mysterious and lightly-flirtatious while maintaining her ability of a tough cop who will not be cowed down by anyone! Both actors are clearly comfortable in their roles and that is one of the main reasons for the series doing brilliantly. This is a show that defies cliche and is cleverly done! If you are looking for a good show that will keep your interest alive for many seasons, then this is it!

Many of the punchlines became famous. Due credit must be given to the actors who delivered the punchlines exceedingly well. Take a look at some of them.

• Castle: When I was your age... I can’t tell that story, it’s wildly inappropriate, which oddly is my point. Don’t you want to have wildly inappropriate stories that you can’t tell your children?
• Alexis: I think you have enough of those for the both of us.

• Castle: [to his daughter Alexis] I just want someone to come up to me and say something new.
• Beckett: Mr. Castle?
• Castle: [turning around holding a pen ready to give an autograph] Where would you like it?
• Beckett: [holding badge] Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight.
• Alexis: [taking the pen from him] That's new.

• Ryan: [pointing to inscription on Castle's book] From the library of Katherine Beckett.
• Beckett: Do you have a problem with reading, Ryan?
• Esposito: Yo, check it, girl, you're totally a fan!
• Beckett: Right. Of the genre.
• Ryan: Right, the genre, that's why you're blushing.
• Beckett: What are you, twelve?

• Esposito: [To Beckett] A control freak like you with something you can't control? No, no, that's gonna be more fun than Shark Week.

• Beckett: Richard Castle, you are under arrest for felony theft and obstruction of justice!
• Castle: [Smiling] You forgot making you look bad.

• Martha: It's my fault; he never had a father figure.
• Castle: Oh, that's not true, Mother, I had lots of father figures!

• Beckett: Well, guess this is it.
• Castle: Oh it doesn’t have to be. We could uh… go to dinner, debrief each other.
• Beckett: Why, Castle? So I can be another one of your conquests?
• Castle: Or I could be one of yours.
• Beckett: [extending her hand] It was nice to meet you, Castle.
• Castle: [shaking it] It’s too bad. It would have been great.
• Beckett: [stepping closer and leaning toward his ear] You have no idea.

• Montgomery: Beckett, listen.
• Beckett: Sir, he is like a nine-year-old on a sugar rush, totally incapable of taking anything seriously.
• Montgomery: But he did help solve this case. And when the mayor's happy, the commissioner's happy. And when the commissioner's happy, I'm happy.
• Beckett: How long, sir?
• Montgomery: [motioning to his door] It's up to him.
• [Beckett turns to find Castle standing in the doorway, smirking]

• Beckett: Exactly how much longer do I have to expect you to be shadowing me on my cases like this?
• Castle: Hard to say, when I’m writing a new character there’s no saying when inspiration might strike.
• Beckett: I thought I was your inspiration.
• Castle: Oh you are Detective, in so many ways.
• Beckett: Yeah well your inspiration might strike you sooner than you might think.

• Alexis: So, who got killed today?
• Castle: The nanny.
• Alexis: Do they know who did it?
• Castle: Well, apparently, in an actual homicide, they don't know who did it until the guy gets caught.

• Police Rep: Mr. Castle, be advised: if you get injured following Detective Beckett to research your next novel, you cannot sue the city. If you get shot, you cannot sue the city. If you get killed...
• Castle: My lifeless remains cannot sue the city?
• Police Rep: Your heirs, Mr. Castle, your heirs.

• Beckett: Exactly how many times have you been married?
• Castle: Twice.
• Beckett: That’s it?
• Castle: Isn’t that enough? How about you?
• Beckett: Me? No, never been.
• Castle: Really?
• Beckett: Yeah.
• Castle: You’d be good at it. You’re both controlling and disapproving.

• Castle: You would really clean up at my poker game.
• Beckett: Right. You, James Patterson and the rest of the times best seller list. No thank you Castle, little to rich for my blood.
• Castle: We could always make it strip poker.
• Beckett: Sorry but I prefer mystery to horror.

• Beckett: Do you know the school?
• Castle: Oh, I’ve been kicked out of all of New York’s finer educational institutions at least once. The irony is, now that I’m rich and famous, they all claim me as alum and want money
• Beckett: [sarcastically] It is just so rough being you.
• Castle: My cross to bear.

• Castle: What’s the class?
• Martha: Introduction to life coaching. It’s always been my desire to make a difference, whether on stage or off. And I have had cards made.
• Castle: It says here I’m your client.
• Martha: Well of course you are, haven’t I been telling you what to do your entire life?

• [Talking to Alexis about the case while chopping onions]
• Alexis: I don’t get it. If Creason didn’t do it, then how does the rug fit in?
• Castle: Killer probably heard about the feud between the two of them and tried to shift suspicion, which is stupid, because without the rug, it would’ve just looked like a mugging gone wrong.
• Alexis: So by trying to look smart, they were actually being stupid.
• Castle: I think you just described the human condition.

• Lanie: Getting a drink with me after work instead of getting your freak on with writer boy?
• Beckett: What? He is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-
• Lanie: Fun. And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. I mean, how bad can he be?
• Beckett: [answers phone] Beckett.
• Castle: [excitedly] Guess who's got a date with a prostitute!

• Castle: All right, so you and I are married.
• Beckett: We are not married.
• Castle: Relax, it's just pretend.
• Beckett: I don't wanna pretend.
• Castle: Scared you'll like it?
• Beckett: Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce.
• Apartment Guy: Are you two like this all the time?
• Castle & Beckett: Yes.

• Beckett: [following Castle across the street] Castle? Castle!
• Castle: [stops in front of a electronics shop] I’m on TV.
• Beckett: Are you having a breakdown?
• Castle: Not a breakdown, a breakthrough. And I really am ruggedly handsome, aren’t I?
• Beckett: Still waiting for the breakthrough.

• Beckett: The next time you show up at a crime scene without me, I'll show you how my taser works.
• Castle: Promise?

• [talking about a poker game]
• Judge: [to Beckett] Do us a favor, Detective. Beat his pants off.
• Castle: Yes please, beat my pants off if you dare.

• [After Castle wins the game and begins gloating]
• Judge: [annoyed] Don’t you ever get tired of winning, Castle?
• Castle: [still gloating] Yeah, you’d think so, right? But no.

• [After Sorenson leaves]
• Castle: Nice guy. I can see how it wouldn’t work, though.
• Beckett: Really?
• Castle: Sure.
• Beckett: Huh.
• Castle: Handsome, square-jawed, by-the-book.
• Beckett: And that’s a bad thing?
• Castle: Yeah, he’s like the male you. Yin needs Yang, not another Yin. Yin-Yang is harmony. Yin-Yin is…a name for a panda.
• Beckett: Any more wisdom, Obi-Wan?

• Lanie: [examining Castle after the car crash] He'll live.
• Ryan: What no brain damage?
• Lanie: If he has some, it happened way before tonight and was probably self inflicted.
• Castle: Ahh, good times.

• [A murder calls Castle away from an ad-hoc play rehearsal with his mother]
• Alexis: Take me with you!
• Castle: To a crime scene?
• Alexis: It'd be educational. Please?
• Castle: Find your own hiding place.

• [Explaining why they should continue ad-hoc play rehearsal]
• Martha: If it’s a hit, who knows how long it could run? Then I could take it on the road.
• Alexis: You mean you’d leave us?
• Martha: Well, only for nine months of the year. [noticing Alexis’ concerned expression] Oh, don’t look so sad. [noticing Castle’s dreamy expression] And, you, don’t look so happy.

• [When Beckett tells Castle she hasn’t read Heat Wave yet]
• Castle: You were all over me to get a copy of that book. Do you have any idea how many hoops I had to jump through, just so my editor wouldn’t send an armed guard to watch over you while you read it? The least you could do is to… [pauses and looks at her] Oh. Oh! I see what you’re doing.
• Beckett: I’m not doing anything.
• Castle: Oh, yes, you are. Yes, you are. You’re trying to push my buttons, but it’s not gonna work.
• Beckett: Really?
• Castle: Mmm.
• Beckett: ‘Cause it seems to be working just great. [smirks]

• Castle: What?
• Beckett: Nothing... it's just I'm so used to seeing you act like a 12-year-old all the time, it's refreshing to see you as a father.
• Castle: It makes you want me, right?
• Beckett: ...And there's the 12-year-old again.

• Castle: Does he look like a killer to you?
• Beckett: Everybody looks like a killer to me, Castle. Job requirement
• Castle: Do I look like a killer to you?
• Beckett: Yes, you kill my patience.

https://www.mouthshut.com/UrbanHermits/reviews

The Genie, A Magical Lamp, 3 Employees & Wishes

A Genie, A Magical Lamp, 3 Employees & Wishes

Tags: Life Lessons Moral Story Comedy Humour Funny Laughter Boss Managers Management Role Office Workplace Finance Budgeting Supplies Culture Policy Feedback Sales Representative Administration Clerk Activities Home Parent Children Mother Father Family Code Ethics Lunch Genie Magical Lamp Wish Bahamas Hawaii Speedboat Beach Masseuse Pina Coladas Love Enjoy

Quite a few of us would have or are currently working in some managerial role whether at office or at home. Many of us may feel that management activities are specifically for the workplace. Interestingly, that is not necessarily true. For example, parents play the role of managers at home with their children as they grow up. This is the glue that gives a code of ethics for children to live by when they are grown up. Typically and unarguably, the key pivot in that is the mother with the father coming in next. There are of course cases and situations wherein the pivots alternate but the usual trend is that the mother takes care of domestic managerial responsibilities in various areas like finance, budgeting, supplies, culture, policy, feedback et al.

That said, the more obvious place for managerial roles is the office. While looking up some interesting stories, we came across the below interesting tale. Some of you may be familiar with the story - if not, read on and enjoy! While reading, do remember the popular quote by Milton Berle, "Laughter is an instant vacation".

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A group of 3 individuals namely a sales representative, an administration clerk and a manager were walking to lunch. On their way, they came across an exciting find - an antique oil lamp. Initially, it appeared to them, as it apparently looked - an antique oil lamp. Out of curiosity, they rubbed it and were stunned to see a Genie present itself to them. They quickly understood that it was a magical lamp and their find was fantastic.

As is the custom, the Genie which came of the lamp spoke, "You released me! To convey my gratitude, I will give each of you exactly one  wish."

The group was going through an out-of-the-world experience and took a few moments to recover to their current situation. Amongst them, the administration clerk was the first to come to his senses or so it seemed.

He said loudly,"Me first! Me first!. I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Immediately, she disappeared in a puff of smoke probably gone to the Bahamas to have a wonderful time!

The Sales representative though outdone by the administration clerk quickly recovered his marbles and spoke out, "Me next! Me next! "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." As with his colleague, the sales representative disappeared to Hawaii to enjoy his wish.

It was finally the turn of the only remaining person in the group - the manager. The Genie called out to the manager in a high voice, "Alright, now you are up next!"

At this point of time, there was an unexpected twist to the story. The manager asked out for his wish, "I want those two people back in the office after lunch."

➤     Life Lesson: Do not forget your boss! Always let your manager have the first say or you may never get to truly enjoy your wishes...

https://www.mouthshut.com/UrbanHermits/reviews

Wisdom from Warren Buffet, The Oracle of Omaha

Wise Investing

Tags: Warren Buffet Famous Oracle Sage Wizard Omaha Berkshire Hathaway Conglomerates Purchased Taxes Rich Wealth Successful investing Investors Investment Gurus Business Holdings Media Insurance Energy Food Beverage Industries Net Worth Forbes Donating Pledging Charitable Foundations Celebrated Philanthropist Inspiring Insightful Quotes Quotations Wise Widsom Saving Earning Income Spending Buy Sell Opportunities Ideas Risk Expectation Expensive Cheap Fear Greed Euphoric Problem Solution Hyperactive Stock Market Enterprise Prediction Thought Long Term Mistakes Extraordinary Events Projections Research Price Action Momentum Volume Companies Profitability Loss Dominant Franchise Index Fund Outperform Professionals Cash Happy Money Diversification Concentration Reading Value Work Appraised Debt Interest Rates Flows Assumption Commodity Competitor Overheated Results Reputation Associates Behavior Fair Corporation Fluctuations Attractive Equities Sinking Reports Equations Intelligence Economy Elections Schools Effective Intrinsic Bargain Growth Transfer Turnarounds Wall Street Rolls-Royce Forecasters Bubble Leverage Balance Sheet History Learn Management Poor Fundamental Economics Quality Assets Liabilities Insider Information Right Wrong Distress Reasoning Facts

Warren Buffet needs no introduction. He is one of the wealthiest men in the world today - that is despite donating and pledging a large part of his wealth to charitable foundations. He is popularly known as Oracle of Omaha / Sage of Omaha / Wizard of Omaha and is one of the most successful investment gurus and respected business persons of the world. He was born in Nebraska on 30 August 1930. He first purchased stock at the age of 11 and filed taxes at age 13. He is synonymous with Berkshire Hathaway which he assumed control in 1965 and was pivotal in its expansion into one of the largest conglomerates in the world. Today, the organisation has holdings in media, insurance, energy, food and beverage industries. His current net worth is estimated by Forbes to be approximately US$ 89 Billion.

Apart from his meteoric rise to one of the richest and most celebrated philanthropist men in the world, Warren Buffet is also famous for his inspiring and insightful quotes in the world of investing. Each of his quotes is a pearl of wisdom for potential and existing investors on wise investing. Here are some of those wonderful quotes.

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• Saving: “Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.”
• Earning: “Never depend on single income. Make investment to create a second source.”
• Spending: “If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.”
• Investment: “Do not put all your eggs in one basket.”
• Success: “You do things when the opportunities come along. I’ve had periods in my life when I’ve had a bundle of ideas come along, and I’ve had long dry spells. If I get an idea next week, I’ll do something. If not, I won’t do a damn thing.”
• Risk: “Never test the depth of river with both the feet.”
• Expectation: “Honesty is very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.”
• Humanity: “If you’re in the luckiest 1 per cent of humanity, you owe it to the rest of humanity to think about the other 99 percent.”

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1. “A climate of fear is your friend when investing; a euphoric world is your enemy.”
2. “A great investment opportunity occurs when a marvelous business encounters a one-time huge, but solvable problem.“
3. “A hyperactive stock market is the pickpocket of enterprise.“
4. “A prediction about the direction of the stock market tells you nothing about where stocks are headed, but a whole lot about the person doing the predicting.”
5. “A public-opinion poll is no substitute for thought.”
6. “Always invest for the long term.”
7. “An investor needs to do very few things right as long as he or she avoids big mistakes.“
8. “An investor should ordinarily hold a small piece of an outstanding business with the same tenacity that an owner would exhibit if he owned all of that business.”
9. “Anything can happen in stock markets and you ought to conduct your affairs so that if the most extraordinary events happen, that you’re still around to play the next day.“
10. “As Buffet said in the speech, “He’s not looking at quarterly earnings projections, he’s not looking at next year’s earnings, he’s not thinking about what day of the week it is, he doesn’t care what investment research from any place says, he’s not interested in price momentum, volume or anything. He’s simply asking: What is the business worth?”
11. “Buy a business, don’t rent stocks.”
12. “Buy companies with strong histories of profitability and with a dominant business franchise.”
13. “By periodically investing in an index fund, the know-nothing investors can actually outperform most investment professionals.”
14. “Cash never makes us happy, but it’s better to have the money burning a hole in Berkshire’s pocket than resting comfortably in someone else’s.”
15. “Chains of habits are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.”
16. “Diversification is a protection against ignorance. It makes very little sense for those who know what they’re doing.”
17. “Diversification may preserve wealth, but concentration builds wealth.”
18. “Do a lot of reading.” – on how to determine the value of a business
19. “Enjoy your work and work for whom you admire.“
20. “For some reason, people take their cues from price action rather than from values. What doesn’t work is when you start doing things that you don’t understand or because they worked last week for somebody else. The dumbest reason in the world to buy a stock is because it’s going up.”
21. “Great investment opportunities come around when excellent companies are surrounded by unusual circumstances that cause the stock to be misappraised.”
22. “I always knew I was going to be rich. I don’t think I ever doubted it for a minute.“
23. “I am a better investor because I am a businessman and a better businessman because I am an investor.”
24. “I do not like debt and do not like to invest in companies that have too much debt, particularly long-term debt. With long-term debt, increases in interest rates can drastically affect company profits and make future cash flows less predictable.“
25. “I don’t look to jump over 7-foot bars: I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over.”
26. “I don’t measure my life by the money I’ve made. Other people might, but certainly don’t.“
27. “I have pledged… to always run Berkshire with more than ample cash… I will not trade even a night’s sleep for the chance of extra profits.”
28. “I knew a lot about what I did when I was 20. I had read a lot, and I aspired to learn everything I could about the subject.”
29. “I never attempt to make money on the stock market. I buy on the assumption that they could close the market the next day and not reopen it for ten years.”
30. “I never buy anything unless I can fill out on a piece of paper my reasons. I may be wrong, but I would know the answer to that …I’m paying $32 billion today for the Coca Cola Company because… If you can’t answer that question, you shouldn’t buy it. If you can answer that question, and you do it a few times, you’ll make a lot of money.“
31. “I really like my life. I’ve arranged my life so that I can do what I want.”
32. “I try to buy stock in businesses that are so wonderful that an idiot can run them. Because sooner or later, one will.”
33. “I will tell you how to become rich. Close the doors. Be fearful when others are greedy. Be greedy when others are fearful.”
34. “If a business does well, the stock eventually follows.”
35. “If at first you do succeed, quit trying on investing.“
36. “If you don’t feel comfortable owning something for 10 years, then don’t own it for 10 minutes.”
37. “In a commodity business, it’s very hard to be smarter than your dumbest competitor.“
38. “In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.”
39. “Investing is laying out money now to get more money back in the future.”
40. “Investors making purchases in an overheated market need to recognize that it may often take an extended period for the value of even an outstanding company to catch up with the price they paid.”
41. “It is not necessary to do extraordinary things to get extraordinary results.”
42. “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”
43. “It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.”
44. “It’s far better to buy a wonderful company at a fair price than a fair company at a wonderful price.“
45. “It’s not debt per say that overwhelms an individual corporation or country. Rather it is a continuous increase in debt in relation to income that causes trouble.“
46. “It’s us fun being a gorse when the tractor comes along, or the blacksmith when the car comes along.“
47. “Look at market fluctuations as your friend rather than your enemy; profit from folly rather than participate in it.“
48. “Money is not everything. Make sure you earn a lot before speaking such nonsense.”
49. “Money to some extent sometimes let you be in more interesting environments. But it can’t change how many people love you or how healthy you are.“
50. “Most people get interested in stocks when everyone else is. The time to get interested is when no one else is. You can’t buy what is popular and do well.”

Wise Investing

1. “Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good results.”
2. “Never give up searching for the job that you’re passionate about. Try to find the job you’d have if you were independently rich. Forget about the pay. When you’re associating with the people that you love, doing what you love, it doesn’t get any better than that.”
3. “Never invest in a business you cannot understand.”
4. “No matter how great the talent or efforts, some things just take time. You can’t produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.”
5. “Only buy something that you’d be perfectly happy to hold if the market shut down for 10 years.”
6. “Only those who will be sellers of equities in the near future should be happy at seeing stocks rise.  Prospective purchasers should much prefer sinking prices.”
7. “Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.“
8. “Our approach is very much profiting from lack of change rather than from change. With Wrigley chewing gum, it’s the lack of change that appeals to me. I don’t think it is going to be hurt by the Internet. That’s the kind of business I like.”
9. “Our favorite holding period is forever.”
10. “Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.”
11. “Read Ben Graham and Phil Fisher read annual reports, but don’t do equations with Greek letters in them.“
12. “Risk can be greatly reduced by concentrating on only a few holdings.”
13. “Risk comes from not knowing what you’re doing.”
14. “Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without [integrity], you really want them to be dumb and lazy.”
15. “Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.”
16. “Stop trying to predict the direction of the stock market, the economy, interest rates, or elections.”
17. “The best business returns are usually achieved by companies that are doing something quite similar today to what they were doing five or ten years ago.”
18. “The business schools reward complex behavior more than simple behavior, but simple behavior is more effective.“
19. “The critical investment factor is determining the intrinsic value of a business and paying a fair or bargain price.”
20. “The fact that people will be full of greed, fear, or folly is predictable. The sequence is not predictable.“
21. “The first rule is not to lose. The second rule is not to forget the first rule.”
22. “The investor of today does not profit from yesterday’s growth.“
23. “The most important thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging.”
24. “The stock market is a no-called-strike game. You don’t have to swing at everything – you can wait for your pitch.”
25. “The Stock Market is designed to transfer money from the Active to the Patient.”
26. “Time is the friend of the wonderful company, the enemy of the mediocre.“
27. “Turnarounds seldom turn.“
28. “Unless you can watch your stock holding decline by 50% without becoming panic-stricken, you should not be in the stock market.”
29. “Valuing a business is part art and part science.“
30. “Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls-Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.”
31. “We don’t get paid for activity, just for being right. As to how long we will wait, we’ll wait indefinitely.”
32. “We have long felt that the only value of stock forecasters is to make fortune-tellers look good.”
33. “We like to buy businesses, but we don’t like to sell them.“
34. “We will have another bubble, but usually you don’t get it the same way you got it before.”
35. “We will only do with your money what we would do with our own.”
36. “We will reject interesting opportunities rather than over-leverage our balance sheet.“
37. “What we learn from history is that people don’t learn from history.”
38. “When a management team with a reputation for brilliance joins a business with poor fundamental economics, it is the reputation of the business that remains intact.”
39. “When asked how he became so successful in investing, Buffett answered: ‘we read hundreds and hundreds of annual reports every year.”
40. “Whether we’re talking about socks or stocks, I like buying quality merchandise when it is marked down.”
41. “Why not invest your assets in the companies you really like? As Mae West said, ‘Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”
42. “Wide diversification is only required when investors do not understand what they are doing.”
43. “With enough insider information and a million dollars, you can go broke in a year.“
44. “With few exceptions when a manager with a reputation for brilliance tackles a business with a reputation for poor economics, it is the reputation of the business which remains intact.“
45. “You do not adequately protect yourself by being half awake when other are sleeping.“
46. “You don’t need to be a rocket scientist. Investing is not a game where the guy with the 160 IQ beats the guy with 130 IQ.”
47. “You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don’t do too many things wrong.“
48. “You ought to be able to explain why you’re taking the job you’re taking, why you’re making the investment you’re making, or whatever it may be. And if it can’t stand applying pencil to paper, you’d better think it through some more. And if you can’t write an intelligent answer to those questions, don’t do it.“
49. “You shouldn’t own common stocks if a 50 per cent decrease in their value in a short period of time would cause you acute distress.“
50. “You won’t keep control of your time, unless you can say ‘no.’ You can’t let other people set your agenda in life.”
51. “You’re neither right nor wrong because other people agree with you. You’re right because your facts are right and your reasoning is right – that’s the only thing that makes you right. And if your facts and reasoning are right, you don’t have to worry about anybody else.”

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Quick Thinking & Excellent Presence of Mind

Quick Thinking & Excellent Presence of Mind

Tags: Life Lessons Moral Inspiration Management Stories Quote Quotation Anecdote Value Excellent Interesting Presence Mind Quick Thinking Wise Wisdom Idea Innovation Famous Personalities Albert Einstein Science Scientific Work Theory Relativity Equations Frontiers Comic Illustration New York Times Hot Stove Nice Pretty Girl History Concept Secretary Interviewers Factual Fiction Validate Presentations Car Driver Annoyed Compliment Skills Ability Happy Knowledge Media Industry Venue Clothes Questions Answers Dilemma Poor Impression Stunned Amazed

Albert Einstein is one of the most famous men in history for his many path-breaking scientific theories. One of his most publicised scientific works is the Theory of Relativity that is world famous and will be probably remembered for a long time to come. In fact, stripped of its equations, the concept can be understood even by laypersons. Einstein was asked to explain his abstruse theory many times. In that context, there is a famous quotation and anecdote attributed to him which was comically illustrated in the New York Times in March 1929 involving a hot stove and a pretty girl.

It is believed that the anecdote originated when his secretary who was a girl, wanted to know what Relativity really meant as she was frequently bothered by inquisitive interviewers. He explained it thus - "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it’s only a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it’s two hours. That’s relativity.”

Anyway, here is another anecdote relating to Einstein which is not factually validated but without doubt interesting.

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When Einstein's Theory of Relativity broke many scientific frontiers, he was invited frequently to give presentations of his theory. For all his presentations and work, he always went by a car accompanied by a driver. During his scientific presentations, Einstein's driver used to be seated in the last row listening to him.

One day, while Einstein was on his way to a presentation, his driver remarked, "Sir, I have heard your Theory of Relativity so often presented by you in simple terms that I feel even I can give a presentation on it. In fact, I remember every word that you say to present your theory." Hearing this, Einstein was not annoyed - instead, he took it as a compliment on his presentation skills and his ability to make even laypersons understand it so well. He was quite happy that even his driver understood his theory though he did not have any practical knowledge of Science.

Apparently, during those days, media was not a booming industry and people were not very familiar with Einstein's looks. Keeping this in mind, Einstein told his driver, "For next presentation, I would like you to present the theory." His driver was excited and agreed. When both of them reached the venue of the presentation, they changed their clothes with the driver as a scientist and Einstein himself dressed in the garb of a driver. Then they went inside the hall.

As agreed, the driver went on the stage and began the presentation. His presentation went so well that no one even doubted him. Then came the questions and answers round before the presentation closed. The driver sailed through most of the questions in the round as he had heard Einstein answering those questions in the earlier presentations.

However, there was one question towards the end of the session that the driver was unable to answer. He was stuck and in a dilemma. However, he realised that if he did not do something, then it would leave a poor impression on people if they got to know that it was Einstein's driver who had given the presentation.

So he thought a while and responded quickly on his feet. He said, "Your question is quite easy - even my driver can answer it. He is sitting in the last row. You can clarify it with him." Einstein was both stunned and amazed at his quick thinking but took the question and answered it without any problem.

➤     Life Lesson: The anecdote may be fiction. However, it proves the value of quick thinking and an excellent presence of mind that can get you out of difficult circumstances.

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Corporate Morals and ethics - Dark Reality!

Corporate Morals and ethics - Dark Reality!

Tags: Corporate Companies Multi-national MNC Management Managers Discussions Values Morals Ethics Virtue Kindness Caring Truth Trust Loyalty Work Job Quality Senior President Successful Appreciation Reward Check Box Materialism Corruption Wise Species Evolution Progression Regression Breed Instincts Human Homosaphiens Intellect Planet Fiction Funny Sarcastic Caustic Humour Satire Marriage Relationship Wife Children Family Members Friends Generations Think Reflect Introspect Poor Money Grass Food Feed Home House Car Driver Dark Reality Happy Travel Negative Strong Foolishness Rare Time Frustration Whatsapp Message Kernel Investigate Tree Extreme Blog Encourage

Many a time, we would have participated in deep discussions wherein our earlier generations of family members and friends would have told us that those were different times when a strong work ethic was sincerely appreciated and rewarded. Similarly, the values espoused and practiced by managements of those times were also on the higher side. Unfortunately, as the world progresses, it seems that corporate morals and ethics are regressing to the darker side. All that is expected today, is to get the work done by hook or crook, never mind the means and the method. Similarly, no one seems to be bothered about the quality of work - as long as no one notices, managers seem to be happy to tick a check box that it is done. And if someone does, then it is time to pass the buck!

Of course, not all managements are like this... but the sad truth is that most seem to be travelling in that negative direction. Further, managements actively reward individuals who jump companies rather than those who have a strong qualitative work ethic. Loyalty is interpreted as foolishness. In a similar vein, managers and management appear to have forgotten the virtue of kindness. Caring and kind managers and managements are a dying breed or are fast becoming a rare species! In fact, if you are one of them, then chances are that you would have been interpreted as not strong enough or ambitious or wasting time...

Given these factors, there are many who taste frustration time and again...

From this perspective, we are sharing here a Whatsapp message that we received sometime back. It is fiction but it serves a purpose and can be interpreted many ways - funny, sarcastic, caustic et al but when you read it, you will see that underlying all that, there perhaps is a kernel of truth!

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A highly successful Senior Vice-President of a multi-national company was going home in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man...
➠     “Why are you eating grass?”
➽     “We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”
➠     “Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you” the Sr. VP said.
➽     “But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree”.
➠     “Bring them along,” the Sr. VP replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You come with us also.”
➽     The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and three children with me!”
➠     “Bring them all, as well,” the Sr. VP answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
➽     One of the poor fellows turned to the Sr. VP and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
➠     The Sr. VP replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!”

➤     Life Lesson: Think twice before trusting Higher Management… They may go to any extreme to finish their job.. And there aren't any like a KIND Management!!

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While the above humour is clearly fiction, yet there is another aspect away from management that should also be reflected upon. When we do not have the means to sustain ourselves, must we follow evolutionary instincts blindly and get into marriage or relationship? If that is not enough, should we also go and have multiple children?

This entire blog piece is intended only to encourage us to think and reflect deeply before doing something... The humour is just satire to illustrate metaphorically how too many times, events, moralities and ethics are going downhill! It is not intended to hurt any feelings arbitrarily or indiscriminately!! We are not just animals though we do have a link there - we are homosaphiens and probably the only species with advanced intellect on this planet with the capacity to introspect and reflect and not just do by instincts. It is time we adopted a wise approach rather than just being less than human while calling ourselves homosaphiens! A little less of a materialistic approach to our lives would be of great help in today's world where corruption of all forms is the norm rather than the rarity!

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A Funny Story of Testing Windshields of Aircraft & High Speed Trains to Bird Hits!

Tags: Funny Management Story Moral Life Lesson Tests Testing Windshields Airborne Aircraft Aeroplanes Airplanes Jets Airliners Aerospace High Speed Trains Bird Hits Strikes Engineers Scientists Internet Broadband Connection Reviews Consumer Feedback Positive Charges Installation Costs Router Security Deposit Subscription Payment Data Limits Companies Corporates Organisations Science Products Safety Problems Solutions Challenges Disaster Destroy Project Simulation Travel Gun Dead Chicken Freezer Success Results Published Research Papers Articles Feedback Pioneering Work Specifications Methodology Resistance Smashed Technology Inputs Advice Suggestions Reports Defrost Home Office Pressure Tasks Relax Reflect Activities Check Outcomes

When we take a new internet connection, what is it that we try to do first? Check its reviews of course. If the reviews and consumer feedback pan out to be reasonably positive, then we may want to opt for the internet broadband connection. But then again, we do not want to jump into it for a stretch of several months in the beginning itself unless we test it for at least a period of 1 month. Even then, we do not want to pay any unnecessary charges like installation costs, router costs and security deposit. So we start off with a bare-bones connection without any charges except the upfront subscription payment for 1 month. Only if we are satisfied that the broadband suits our requirement do we go further... like renewing it for minimum of 3 months to take advantage of lower subscription payment and higher data limits.

It works much the same way in companies and organisations too. Testing is a very important component in every field of science to ensure that the end product meets all safety requirements and does not create more problems than it solves. So here is one such story involving the challenge of bird hits on airborne aircraft and high speed trains.

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As we are all aware, one of the major challenges faced by aerospace companies and airborne aircrafts are the effect of bird strikes on the wind shields of numerous jets and airliners. When an aircraft is in motion, an innocuous bird hit can actually turn out to be a disaster and destroy the safety of the aircraft. Therefore, a group of engineers in one of the major aerospace companies got together on a project to simulate the effects of birds striking an airborne aeroplane travelling at high speeds. To do this, they developed the concept of manufacturing a powerful gun which would fire dead chicken (from freezer) at the wind shields. After a battery of tests and several phases, the engineers declared that the tests were finally successful in that the simulation with the gun firing the dead chicken had worked effectively. The results were published through appropriate research papers and articles talking about the suitability of wind shields vide the tests done approving redesigned wind shields for aircraft.

At the same point of time, in another part of the world, another group of scientists were conducting a similar study to assess the impact of bird strikes on wind shields but on high speed trains (instead of aircraft). These scientists had heard great feedback on the pioneering work and tests developed by the aerospace engineers group. Hence, they approached them and requested the necessary specifications for conducting tests with a powerful gun with dead birds on wind shields of high speed trains. The aerospace engineers were only too happy to cooperate and supported the scientists with all requisite details on their pioneering studies and the methodology followed to test suitability of wind shields. Armed with the specifications, the scientists group developed their own simulation of birds striking the wind shields of high speed trains. However, when the tests results were examined, the results that came out were shocking!

The wind shields of the high speed trains that were expected to provide high resistance to bird strikes were literally smashed into pieces! In fact, not a single wind shield that was part of the tests survived and all of them shattered along with the test booth itself. The scientists were naturally horrified with the results. They were highly concerned on the safety and technology for high speed trains. Therefore, they approached the aerospace engineers with their failed test results and asked for their inputs, advice and suggestions. The engineers went through the test reports and came out with a conclusion. They sent a brief reply to the scientists, "You need to defrost the chickens first..."

➤     Life Lesson: There are many times that we put in a lot of hard work into completing a project or test either at home or office. In that endeavour, sometimes, the small things are taken for granted and we overlook the small details (probably on account of time crunch or pressure) that are crucial to making the task successful. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary to relax and reflect on all the activities that need to go or have gone into the task and double check if anything has been missed. If we do that, the outcomes are bound to be positive and successful.

Lucifer Morningstar TV Show - A Wonderful Cocktail of Fun & Comedy!

Lucifer Morningstar TV Show - A Wonderful Cocktail of Fun & Comedy!

Tags: DC TV Television Hollywood Films Comics Tom Ellis Tom Welling DB Woodside Tricia Helfer Lesley-Ann Brandt Lauren German Kevin Alejandro Rachael Harris Linda Martin Charlotte Richards Chloe Decker Dan Espinoza Marcus Pierce Fun Comedy Thriller Mystery Fiction Fantasy Script Dialogues Soundtracks Music Rock Pop Rap Religion Heaven Hell Lucifer Morningstar Mazikeen God Amenadiel Angel Devil Satan Demon Cain Soul Fear Good Evil Bad Sin Temptation Blessed Cursed Man Mankind Humanity King Earth Los Angeles Police Murder Crimes Punish Sinners Law Justice Psychiatrist Attorney Detective Wealth Money Mischievous

Throughout history, Lucifer, the fallen angel or the Devil or Satan (as often called), has been a figure to be feared and despised. He has been cast opposite of God, the benevolent father and all that is good. He has been shown as evil incarnate of all that is evil or bad in this world and humanity. In fact, he has been held responsible for all the ills plaguing this world. However, if you keep religion out of it, it does seem odd or surprising that Lucifer, one of the most powerful angels in God's army would be as humanity picturised him to be. Let us take God as existing without any questions... when that is so, how can there be any being that can stand against him who is all powerful? Unless, he allows it? So does it not stand to reason that Lucifer perhaps is there in his role for a purpose to keep sin at bay and to punish sinners? That is food for thought!

We know that amongst the world's oldest religions, there is at least one religion that considers the King of Hell as a God in his right. His purpose has been given by the all powerful Gods to punish those who stray from the path of good. That way, it is like a Minister in a Government who has been given a job to do and he does it admirably. From that perspective, is it not possible that Lucifer is doing much the same thing by luring the temptation of man, punishing humanity for its sins and cleansing the race for the better? Well, that is exactly what the TV show Lucifer does - it provides an alternative take on Lucifer, the fallen angel. Lucifer defends himself admirably in the comedy / thriller / mystery / fantasy / fiction show that he is not responsible for sins of humanity. Rather, he strives to punish it and encourage people who are in the path of goodness.

The show is like a breath of refreshing air in television carving out a unique path for itself, away from the stereotypes. For those who may be extremely religious, we need to remember that this show does not idolise Lucifer nor does it demonise him - he is just doing his job! The sins and evils humanity faces are very much its own, though we have always blamed someone or the Devil for it. However, we can not escape the conclusion that humanity is both blessed and cursed at the same time - blessed for its capacity for goodness and cursed for its tendency to commit unspeakable evils (as we are seeing in this world in recent history and now). In his words on the TV show, he does not cause humans to commit evil or sins - they do it on their own and he only punishes them for it as it is his job to do.

Anyway, the show is worth watching and it is quite interesting! It is a well balanced comedy that keeps your interest alive! This show keeps you intrigued throughout its many seasons. Every season it keeps coming back with a different twist to keep your interest alive and wanting for more. It portrays Lucifer as part of a dysfunctional family of Father, Mother and Sons, quite similar to what we see in this world in our own families. Family fights are common and we also make up. Lucifer Morningstar played by Tom Ellis is at odds with his father and God and decides to part ways and go on a vacation from his job as the King of Hell. He decides to spend some time on Earth and settles down in Los Angeles, the city of Angels while teaming up with the Los Angeles Police Department as a consultant to solve crimes. He sees it as a wonderful way of punishing sinners through law and justice.

The script is well written with clever dialogues and some really cool soundtracks. The music is a nice mix of rock, pop and rap that resonate well with the audience. His dialogue contains lot of doublespeak that confuses and puzzles the humans around him when he speaks about him being the real Lucifer. They finally settle down to believe that he is either joking or confused or may be demented and sunk in to that role. The cast is ably supported by DB Woodside as Angel Amenadiel (Lucifer's brother), Lesley-Ann Brandt as Demon Mazikeen (who thinks she has no soul but is surprised to find that she may actually have one), Rachael Harris as psychiatrist Linda Martin, Tricia Helfer as Attorney Charlotte Richards (and also playing as possessed by Lucifer's mom in few episodes), Lauren German as Detective Chloe Decker (Lucifer's female interest), Kevin Alejandro as Cop Dan Espinoza and of course, Tom Welling as Chief of Police Marcus Pierce (and also Cain, the first murderer of humanity).

Tom Ellis as Lucifer Morningstar manages to carry the role with elan showing off his wealth and taste, not to mention his quirky and mischievous nature. He impresses with his smooth convincing acting, suave confident looks, charming British accent, cheekiness and sarcasm. He is quite manipulative and persuasive with his magnetic personality and uses his abilities to the hilt while helping solve crime and punishing criminals. He is cast well in eye-catching suits. While he may come off sometimes as arrogant or callous, yet the viewer knows otherwise. Lucifer is not trying to be dark and mysterious - he is simply fast paced and humorous. In short, he thoroughly embraces his characters and makes it come alive as an alternative take on the character of Devil. The chemistry between Lucifer and his female interest Chloe is brought out quite well too. The show is done with great taste and is quite classy throughout the series, not to mention the touch of devilry every now and then.

By the way, were you aware that this series is from DC Comics? We got surprised too.

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Disorder in the American Courts - Comedy

Disorder in the American Courts - Comedy

Tags: Justice Judgement Judicial Courts Judiciary Juries Judges Law Legal Defendants Plaintiffs Lawyers Witnesses Offense Newspapers Reporters Mobile Hollywood TV Celluloid Movies Films Comical Comedy Humour Laughing Book Quotes Publishing Author Marcelle Boren Disorder in the American Courts

Sometime or the other, each one of us would have been exposed or familiar with the Judicial systems, particularly the Courts. This could have been through newspapers, mobile news alerts, watching TV shows, Hollywood movies, civil disputes or perhaps some kind of violation of law (as simple as a traffic offense or accident). Most of the times though, we see Courts and Judiciary as formidable and something that we should stay from by avoiding any kind of issues that could expose us to the Judicial system. That said, it is entertaining to watch TV shows or films on them since it captivates our minds. Of course, examination and cross-examination of witnesses is often quite interesting though the content may or may not be of good taste.

That said, we rarely consider the comical aspects of Judicial systems across the world. If you stop to think about it, you can be pleasantly surprised, though in all honesty, it may be anything but comedy, for the individuals concerned. It does not however mean that we can not smile when we hear something that tickles our sense of humour. One of the most talked about Courts are the American Courts, as you might have guessed. They have stayed in the limelight for a long time and there is no doubt that they will continue to be in the spotlight for even longer. Obviously, TV shows and Hollywood Movies have a lot to do with it. Now imagine, if all those comical examinations in Court were recorded word by word so that we could go through them and have a good laugh on the lighter side... Well, that is what actually happened!

The incidences in the American Courts are typically recorded by Court Reporters and those that were funny have been made in to a book, published by Iwahu Publishing as "Disorder in the American Courts", authored by Marcelle Boren and presented by CourtComics.com. The book captures several comical moments during examinations of witnesses that is sure to make us burst out laughing! These are actual quotes, word for word, from real court proceedings! Unbelievable as it may seem, these are things people actually said in court, word for word, under oath in legal court proceedings and are forever immortalized in the public record. They have been taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Definitely, not easy!

Take a look at some excerpts of those conversations and you will understand where we are coming from.

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          ATTORNEY  :     How far from the accident were you when it happened?
          WITNESS     :     36 feet, 2 and a quarter inches.
          ATTORNEY  :     Nonsense! How can you be so precise?
          WITNESS     :     Well, I knew some bloody fool would ask me; so I measured it.

          ATTORNEY  :     What is your date of birth?
          WITNESS     :     July Fifteenth.
          ATTORNEY  :     What year?
          WITNESS     :     Every year.

          ATTORNEY  :     What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
          WITNESS     :     Gucci Sweats and Reeboks.

          ATTORNEY  :     This myasthenia gravis... Does it affect your memory at all?
          WITNESS     :     Yes.
          ATTORNEY  :     And in what ways does it affect your memory?
          WITNESS     :     I forget.
          ATTORNEY  :     You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

          ATTORNEY  :     What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
          WITNESS     :     He said, "Where am I, Doris?".
          ATTORNEY  :     And why did that upset you?
          WITNESS     :     My name is Susan.

          ATTORNEY  :     She had three children, right?
          WITNESS     :     Yes.
          ATTORNEY  :     How many were boys?
          WITNESS     :     None.
          ATTORNEY  :     Were there any girls?
          WITNESS     :     Your Honour. I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

          ATTORNEY  :     Are you sexually active?
          WITNESS     :     No. I just lie there.

          ATTORNEY  :     Could you see him from where you were standing?
          WITNESS     :     I could see his head.
          ATTORNEY  :     And where was his head?
          WITNESS     :     Just above his shoulders.

          ATTORNEY  :     Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
          WITNESS     :     The victim lived.

          ATTORNEY  :     How was your first marriage terminated?
          WITNESS     :     By death.
          ATTORNEY  :     And by whose death was it terminated?
          WITNESS     :     Take a guess.

          ATTORNEY  :     Now Doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
          WITNESS     :     Did you actually pass the Bar exam?

          ATTORNEY  :     The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
          WITNESS     :     He is twenty, much like your IQ.

          ATTORNEY  :     How old is your son - the one living with you.
          WITNESS     :     Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
          ATTORNEY  :     How long has he lived with you?
          WITNESS     :     Forty-five years.

          ATTORNEY  :     And where was the location of the accident?
          WITNESS     :     Approximately milepost 499.
          ATTORNEY  :     And where is milepost 499?
          WITNESS     :     Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

          ATTORNEY  :     Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
          WITNESS     :     We both do.
          ATTORNEY  :     Voodoo?
          WITNESS     :     We do.
          ATTORNEY  :     You do?
          WITNESS     :     Yes, voodoo.

          ATTORNEY  :     Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
          WITNESS     :     Yes.
          ATTORNEY  :     Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
          WITNESS     :     Yes, sir.
          ATTORNEY  :     What did she say?
          WITNESS     :     What disco am I at?

          ATTORNEY  :     I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
          WITNESS     :     That's me.
          ATTORNEY  :     Were you present when that picture was taken?
          WITNESS     :     Are you serious.

          ATTORNEY  :     Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

          ATTORNEY  :     Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
          WITNESS     :     I'll be three months on November 8.
          ATTORNEY  :     Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
          WITNESS     :     Yes.
          ATTORNEY  :     What were you doing at that time?

          ATTORNEY  :     How many times have you committed suicide?
          WITNESS     :     Four times.

          ATTORNEY  :     Have you lived in this town all your life?
          WITNESS     :     Not yet.

          ATTORNEY  :     Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
          WITNESS     :     I refuse to answer that question.
          ATTORNEY  :     Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
          WITNESS     :     I refuse to answer that question.
          ATTORNEY  :     Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
          WITNESS     :     No.

          ATTORNEY  :     Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
          WITNESS     :     No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

          ATTORNEY  :     Were you acquainted with the deceased?
          WITNESS     :     Yes sir.
          ATTORNEY  :     Before or after he died?

          ATTORNEY  :     And you check your radar unit frequently?
          WITNESS     :     Officer: "Yes, I do."
          ATTORNEY  :     And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?
          WITNESS     :     Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly.

          ATTORNEY  :     Lawyer: "What happened then?
          WITNESS     :     He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'
          ATTORNEY  :     Did he kill you?
          WITNESS     :     No.

          ATTORNEY  :     Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man.
          WITNESS     :     Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment.

          ATTORNEY  :     You say the stairs went down to the basement?
          WITNESS     :     Yes.
          ATTORNEY  :     And these stairs, did they go up also?

          ATTORNEY  :     Can you describe the individual?
          WITNESS     :     He was about medium height and had a beard.
          ATTORNEY  :     Was this a male, or a female?
          WITNESS     :     Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with male.

          ATTORNEY  :     Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
          WITNESS     :     No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

          ATTORNEY  :     Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
          WITNESS     :     All my autopsies are performed on dead people. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

          ATTORNEY  :     All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
          WITNESS     :     Oral.

          ATTORNEY  :     Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
          WITNESS     :     The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
          ATTORNEY  :     And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
          WITNESS     :     If not, he was by the time I finished.

          ATTORNEY  :     Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
          WITNESS     :     No.
          ATTORNEY  :     Did you check for blood pressure?
          WITNESS     :     No.
          ATTORNEY  :     Did you check for breathing?
          WITNESS     :     No.
          ATTORNEY  :     So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
          WITNESS     :     No.
          ATTORNEY  :     How can you be so sure, Doctor?
          WITNESS     :     Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
          ATTORNEY  :     But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
          WITNESS     :     It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

          ATTORNEY  :     You were not shot in the fracas?
          WITNESS     :     No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

          ATTORNEY  :     What did the tissue samples taken from the victim's vagina show?
          WITNESS     :     There were traces of semen.
          ATTORNEY  :     Male semen?
          WITNESS     :     That's the only kind I know of.

          ATTORNEY  :     So, after the anaesthetic, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
          WITNESS     :     I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
          ATTORNEY  :     It was covered?
          WITNESS     :     Yes. Bandaged.
          ATTORNEY  :     Then, later on, what did you see?
          WITNESS     :     I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.

          ATTORNEY  :     Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
          WITNESS     :     "I swear by Almighty God."
          ATTORNEY  :     "That the evidence that I give..."
          WITNESS     :     That's right.
          ATTORNEY  :     Repeat it.
          WITNESS     :     "Repeat it".
          ATTORNEY  :     No! Repeat what I said.
          WITNESS     :     What you said when?
          ATTORNEY  :     "That the evidence that I give..."
          WITNESS     :     "That the evidence that I give."
          ATTORNEY  :     "Shall be the truth and..."
          WITNESS     :     It will, and nothing but the truth!
          ATTORNEY  :     Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
          WITNESS     :     I'm not a scholar, you know.
          ATTORNEY  :     We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
          WITNESS     :     "Shall be the truth and."
          ATTORNEY  :     Say: "Nothing...".
          WITNESS     :     Okay. (Witness remains silent.)
          ATTORNEY  :     No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."
          WITNESS     :     Yes.
          ATTORNEY  :     Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?
          WITNESS     :     Yes.
          ATTORNEY  :     Well? Do so.
          WITNESS     :     You're confusing me.
          ATTORNEY  :     Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".
          WITNESS     :     Okay. I understand.
          ATTORNEY  :     Then say it.
          WITNESS     :     What?
          ATTORNEY  :     "Nothing but the truth..."
          WITNESS     :     But I do! That's just it.
          ATTORNEY  :     You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
          WITNESS     :     I WILL say nothing but the truth!
          ATTORNEY  :     Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing", "But", "The", "Truth".
          WITNESS     :     What? You mean, like, now?
          ATTORNEY  :     Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
          WITNESS     :     "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
          ATTORNEY  :     Thank you.
          WITNESS     :     I'm just not a scholar.

          ATTORNEY  :     You were there until the time you left, is that true?

          ATTORNEY  :     So you were gone until you returned?

          ATTORNEY  :     You don't know what it was and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

          ATTORNEY  :     How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

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The above excerpts demonstrate that examination and cross-examination of witnesses in Courts is a fine art. If not done well with proper preparation, understanding and presence of mind, they can easily turn out to be foolish, comical or outright ugly. Anyway, sit back and enjoy a collection of verbatim exchanges from the halls of justice, where defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, collide to produce memorably insane comedy. Needless to say, this book is available both in paperback and Kindle version. It is definitely worth a read!

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